"How are you, REALLY?" written by Jenna Kutcher

The book review

· Psychology

We have always been asking the question, ‘how are you?’ and getting a general response, like ‘I am OK, fine,’ and blah-blah-blah. But, have you honestly asked yourself, ‘How are you, REALLY?’ The title of this book caught my eye when I first heard Jenna Kutcher’s inspirational speech at an event by Tony Robbins. The topic of her talk was ‘Take control of your life,’ and it was truly amazing.

Jenna’s wisdom and personal story opened my eyes and inspired me so much that I jumped over to one project of mine I’ve been postponing for years, and it literally consumed me for hours! Because, as Jenna says, welcoming tiny actions can bring super-powerful results in the long run.

Jenna says it’s very vital to invest in yourself, as she quotes, ‘you are signaling to yourself that you’re not the risk, you are worthy of the investment. You’re ready to fan the flame and invest in the future version of yourself.’ That truly resonated with me, and as recently I’ve followed Joe Dispenza’s teachings, the same philosophy is behind the eternal question asked after the meditation: ‘Who I want to be when I open my eyes?’”

“There was once a flame. But today we feel like ashes. And all that it takes is just one ember to light,”

says Jenna.

broken image

These words have inspired me to literally wake up from my dream. I followed her on Instagram, and joined in listening her podcast (here, catch a link to a Goal Digger Podcast and “dive on in”, as Jenna says, to an ocean of — well, I’ll repeat this word over and over again — INSPIRATION and vibrance from her light energy). There was this episode where I literally cried, and so I invite you to listen it and it’ll give you a broader picture on what I’m trying to describe. And believe me, it’s hard to.

And then… I bought her book (here’s the link to buy it, by the way, and I truly recommend to do so right away). The introductory description says the following:

“Divided into three sections, How Are You, Really? is a path to coming home to yourself, following what your intuition may have been quietly telling you to do for a long time, and the practical tools for how to make changes for the better.”

This book is truly a life changer. Reading it is like sitting with your best friend and discussing the most important aspects of our lives, and what it really means to live, to not just go with the flow (or, somebody’s flow). It’s about living your life according to what really matters to you, as you answer the question ‘WHY?’ honestly to just yourself, and nobody else. Her book is definitely one of those ‘I simply-cannot-stop-reading-until-I-am-done’ books, you know? And when I was reading it, I was reading it with Jenna’s voice from the podcast — enthusiastic, friendly, cheerful, sometimes shaky and trembling — as she shared her personal story that truly touches and even makes you cry.

I don’t want to write up a lot of spoiler alerts here, you’ll hate me for this, but I just want to say that this book is not yet another self-help or motivation-no-procrastination resource. It is soaked up with a totally different spirit. Here are a few quotes I’d like to share to confirm it:

“Spoiler alert: that thing you’re doing isn’t working for you because it didn’t come from you.”

“We can’t always solve our own problems with someone else’s solutions. We can’t always find our own selves using someone else’s directions. And we sure as hell can’t always question our lives clearly if we don’t close our eyes to the nonstop jazz hands of every other answer parading by. When we look to the crowd to answer our deepest questions, we move in whatever direction we’re carried. We stop looking within, stop checking in, stop carrying our own visions, because what is inside of us perhaps doesn’t match the identities our world keeps telling us to clothe ourselves in.”

“We bog ourselves down by thinking of all the things that could go wrong but never allow ourselves to imagine what could go right.”

“We don’t yet know everything there is to know. We haven’t yet gone through all the experiences in our lives. We aren’t finished learning. All of this means we can’t lock ourselves into a commitment to never change our minds, unless we commit to never changing our lives. And even then, good luck, because change comes for us all.”

“Pain, fear, and grief are not weaknesses. They’re your companions for your transformation. We’re only in danger of losing time when we simply wait for them to go away.”

I truly hope these words have inspired you. And I want you to dedicate some time to brew some nice cup of coffee, take that beautiful cozy blanket, and by slowly sipping the magical drink, answer the above question, the answer to which only matters to you, and only you: “How are you, REALLY?”